I have let my life get so over-scheduled that I've been ignoring this blog for way too long. I've told myself too many times "I should blog about that" and then I forget. Well, as exhausted as I am right now, I need to blog this.
I had a very close flirtation with death today. I was sitting at a traffic light waiting for the green arrow so I could turn left. I was in a hurry to get to my son's first soccer practice, especially because I'm the assistant coach and I knew my husband, the coach, would want my help. The left turn arrow turned green and it was my turn to go. I tried to gun it through the intersection, but my car lagged for a moment and I was instantly irritated. I actually said out loud to myself "Car, can't you have some more power?" and in that half second that I wasn't able to accelerate as fast as I wanted to, I suddenly looked up to see an enormous white truck barreling through the intersection right toward me. He swerved around me and continued to run the light which had been red on his end for a very long time. I heard myself cry out in fear, thinking he was going to hit me, and then when he didn't, I shakily continued through the intersection. I called my husband to tell him what happened, still headed to soccer, and as soon as we hung up, my nerves gave way and the floodgates opened. If my car had performed the way I'd wanted it to, I'd be dead right now. My little car and I wouldn't have stood a chance against the driver's side impact that would have happened from that massive truck. Hours later, I still can't believe I'm lucky enough to be sitting here alive. I cried tears of panic, fear, joy, and most of all, thanks. Thanks to God for saving me. I feel it in my bones as surely as I feel the sun will rise tomorrow that God made my car not work correctly...in order to save my life. My son's birthday is in four days. I reflect in horror at how his life could have been permanently damaged had that scene played out differently today. But God is making His presence known, and He is reminding me of His protective and loving hand with this amazing gift of being here another day.
Ironically, I had planned to blog yesterday about a different circumstance that happened. Irony of ironies, I was driving to the office and deep in prayer when I suddenly saw the police lights flash behind me. A cop pulled me over and told me I had been speeding. I honestly had no idea; I had been so lost in thought and prayer that I wasn't paying attention to how fast I was going. I apologized and waited for him to write up the ticket, dreading the thought of calling my husband to tell him I just got a ticket that would likely cost many hundreds of dollars to pay off. And then the cop walked back to my car...and let me go with a warning. I have never been the person who gets off with a warning. Cops usually love to write me tickets! I was so pleasantly shocked that I didn't know what to do, except thank God. God was showing me his grace as I was reminded to drive better, and to slow down. So much to be thankful for.
So I am now going to take this evening to revel in how much I love God, and how thankful I am for His love of me and the countless ways He shows it. I'm alive. I get to live another day. I get to look in on my son sleeping soundly right now because he didn't lose his mom today. I get to enjoy the simple pleasures of a comfortable bed and the chorus of crickets singing through the night. I get to pet my cat as she knocks her head against me and purrs. I get to kiss my husband goodnight and see the look of relief in his eyes that we're all here together and safe for another day. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. But I have today. And I have this awareness of God's presence and His relationship with me. I've taken it so for granted and I have not given Him the time He deserves. I've let the chaos of my life and all its responsibilities get in the way. Thank you, God, for this wake-up call.
Psalm 136
1 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.
His love endures forever.
2 Give thanks to the God of gods.
His love endures forever.
3 Give thanks to the Lord of lords:
His love endures forever.
4 to him who alone does great wonders,
His love endures forever.
